'Parents’ Forum, Good Communication, will Boost Children’s Socio-emotional Needs’
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essential to their academic development and other aspects of their
lives. Some experts told Funmi Ogundare that good communication
and active participation in parents' forum in schools will help
parents boost their children’s socio-emotional well-being
Master Kunle Odulaja (not real name) is a brilliant pupil in one of
the low income private schools in Lagos State. He went to
school one day and started stooling and vomiting, but for the
intervention of the headmistress who quickly took him to the
hospital where he was diagnosed of food poisoning, he would
have died in the process.
Another pupil from the same school, Miss Sola Mohammed,
was discovered to have had her uniform burnt from ironing.
She was summoned to the headmistress’s office and after
questioning, it was revealed that she was not wearing
underwear of any sorts. The headmistress had to buy her a new
set of underwear and directed the school tailor to make her a
new uniform.
These two scenarios, among other issues, which were traced to
neglect or nonchalant attitude on the part of parents, prompted
the headmistress to call the attention of the school’s
management to have a parents’ forum where parents’ attitude
towards their children would be discussed, not only in terms of
academics, but also in other areas.
Parents’ contributions to their children’s socio-emotional
development, apart from their academics may be one of the
least controversial statements in the Nigerian education sector;
however, their involvement can make a huge difference.
Research has shown that parents’ involvement has been more
focused on children’s achievement, with less attention to social
and emotional domains of their development, as many parents
are caught in a vicious circle in the battle for survival which
leaves little or no room to monitor their children.
The headmistress of a low income private school in Lagos, who
prefers anonymity, expressed concern that parents are leaving
their roles to the teachers and the schools, adding that most
times, the communication line between children and their
parents is poor which makes the children to shy away from
discussing their challenges freely with their parents.
“Some of these parents are just nonchalant; for instance if I
have a girl-child, I should know when she is menstruating, when
her underwear is due to be changed and when she needs to
wear a bra; many of them don’t know.
“We are in an environment where parents complain that they
have to leave home very early for work in the morning and come
back late in the evening. I usually tell them if you continue like
that, why are you struggling? Is it not because of this child? If
you make all the money and the child is no longer there, what
do you do?”
To ensure that parents get involved in their children’s socio-
emotional development and academics, she said her school had
to draft a newsletter about activities in the school through their
children inviting them to come for a parents’ forum.
“We call parents’ meeting when we see that children are not
regular in school, when they come to school and they don’t write
assignments and notes, or when they come to school with
tattered uniforms, or exhibit vices. Sometimes you see sick
children coming to school, their parents would have gone out
and we will have to take them to the health centre. When they
return, we tell them about the issues at hand. These things have
drastically reduced and parents now check their children. With
the parents' forum, they are able to address a lot of these
challenges.”
Other schools, including the low income private schools
promote parents’ involvement ranging from encouraging good
communication, school meetings such as Parent
Teachers’Association or parents’ forum as the case may be,
volunteering and fundraising to provide parents with home-
based learning activities to assist with their children’s
homework.
The Director General, Office of Education Quality Assurance,
Lagos, Mrs. Ronke Soyombo, said her office has been involved
in sensitisation workshops for schools and parents to ensure
that schools help parents to enhance their children’s academic
and socio-emotional development.
“We have been sensitising a lot of our parents and parents’
forum is a key thing that we are looking at to support and
motivate them and to talk on why they have to support their
children. Parents should rise to the occasion, don’t just leave
your job for the schools, drivers, or the lesson teachers, we all
have to take a part because there is no best teacher compared
to the mother of the child.
It is high time we priotised and gave the best to the child. It is
high time we also visited schools. You don’t just dump your
children there, but go there to see what they are doing,” she
further counseled.
She added that her office had to create quality assurance for the
low income private schools by putting measures in place that
will enhance teaching and learning for the benefit of the
children.
“At the moment, we have put a lot of measures in place whether
it is a school at the riverine area or at Ikoyi, the standards
remain the same because it is the core teaching and learning
that we are talking about. You will be amazed, some schools
can look all dressed up but there will be no core teaching and
learning going on there.
The Director of Funbi Primary and Secondary School,
Ajamgbadi, Lagos, who charges a tuition fee of N10,000 for
secondary school and between N3,000 and N5,000 for primary
schools, Mr. Abiodun Owolana, said three weeks into
resumption, his school usually holds a PTA meeting where they
talk to parents on what they need to know concerning their
children and what they are supposed to do which will be in line
with the school so that they can work together to bring up
quality children.
Owolana, who is also the Public Relations Officer of the
Association for Formidable Educators (AFED), an umbrella body
of low income schools in Lagos, said, “we also involve parents
in their children’s homework, so we get the feedback from the
parents. We know that the children cannot do it alone because
they need the assistance of the parents, so from there we know
that the parents are also playing their own role.”
He said his school has also been providing free education to
children of parents who are unable to pay their tuition fees to
eradicate illiteracy in the society. “For the parents who are
unable to meet up with the fees, we take it up upon ourselves. I
have almost 10 pupils that are not paying, the effort is aimed at
eradicating illiteracy.”
The Director of Anselm Private School, Iba, whose school
charges almost N6,000 per term, Mr. Anselm Nwosu, said the
school also holds PTA meeting twice a term, “and most times,
we communicate through text messages such that if there is
any complain, we have someone that is incharge of the
complaints from parents and we always make sure we address
them.”
A proprietress, Mrs. Temitope Olukayode, said her school
charges N6,000 as tuition fee per term, which is within the reach
of almost every parents to be able to educate as much pupils as
possible.
She said her school doesn’t allow learning to end with the
pupils, adding that it creates a forum that would enable parents
to know what the school is doing.
“We try to educate them and invite them to a workshop where
we interact. We go the extra mile to make them realise the
importance of giving their children good education and taking
care of their socio-emotional needs.”
She said within its locality, there has been an increase in pupil
enrolment into her school and parents who have been
nonchalant towards their children’s education are changing
their attitude. “We also monitor the homework we give to the
children. For instance when we give homework to the children,
some parents will write for them, but we have seen situations
where there is child/parent collaboration and in such a situation
the parents will come to the school to explain where the child is
lagging behind. It has helped us to know whether the child is
doing well or not.”
The Director of Samtop Nursery and Primary School, Ogudu,
Mrs. Temitope Osigbosin, charges a minimum of N5,000 to
10,000 per term.
She expressed concern that many parents are too busy to have
time for their children due to the nature of their jobs, but that her
school acts as a second home for the children.
“We hold PTA meetings to let parents know what we want from
them, we also have some parents who wouldn’t even come for
the meeting. We call them on phone and we advise them that as
a parent, the money they are working for will be wasted if they
don’t take care of their children. We have a book that we use to
monitor the daily progress and activities of the children so when
we observe any problem, we get the parents and the school
involved.”
The Chief Executive Officer of SchoolKits, Mrs. Temilola
Adepetun, is of the view that parenting is not something that is
thought, but expressed concern that, “a lot of parents go out in
the morning and come back home several hours later so they
don’t know what is happening and what their children do during
the day.”
She said it is important for parents to be involved in the daily life
of their children, adding that weekends are precious time to be
spent together to enable parents teach their children values,
read to them and correct their diction.
“These are the things that parents can do and because it is a rat
race entirely especially in Lagos, it is very difficult to survive.
There are so many challenges before parents can pay house
rent and school fees; school fees are not cheap anymore, it is
really challenging. A lot of parents are working very hard, they
don’t have enough time for their children; this is a shame!
Adepetun stressed the need for parents to create time for their
children and deposit a lot of knowledge, possible values and
ethics in them.
“Let them know their right from wrong and you can only do all
that if you spend time with them. The school cannot do it all, the
parents and the schools have to work together.
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